As I mentioned, I experienced a bit of burnout in August. I realized I wasn’t praying or exercising enough. I didn’t have much joy around my family or when trying to get work done. Part of it was trying to wrap my head around the possibility of moving to Colorado. The other was giving into negative thoughts about myself as a musician after I was struggling to get the right guitar recording for an upcoming track. (still working on it… sigh)
As a musical artist, I can’t just “show up”. I need to put forth an effort to produce results, and I have to wear many different hats. I am responsible for creating, recording, producing, promoting, booking, and performing my music. I have to make the blog that you are reading. I created and maintain this website. I edit the videos and for the past 10-15 videos I have put together the lyrics and video effects. I have not done as many concerts as I should and have been lacking motivation to invite new people to join my support team.
I can’t just clock in and it magically gets done. I have to do it. What makes it difficult is that even if I do all of these tasks well, it still doesn’t guarantee that I will get paid an adequate wage.
It can can be easy for me to worry about what others think of me. I can begin to think I am failing since I am not making a ton of money and my music isn’t very popular. I need to keep my eyes focused on Jesus and my call to be His disciple. I also must remember and live out the truth that my vocation as husband and father is more important than my career.